


Only need the light when it’s shining low

by mellow_fellow



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dadza, DreamSMP - Freeform, He is trying his best, Hurt No Comfort, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sorry Not Sorry, literally just angst, phil is an okay dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29800614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellow_fellow/pseuds/mellow_fellow
Summary: Philza reflects on his time as a father, and mourns the loss of his sonSPOILERS FOR TOMMYS MARCH 1ST STREAM
Relationships: TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Kudos: 59





	Only need the light when it’s shining low

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaha angst for brrr

Philza knew he wasn’t the best father.

Hell, he knew he was probably one of the worst, but he still loved his boys. He tried his best to keep them safe, warm, and healthy. He could still remember the first time Techno took down a zombie, the pride shining in his young eyes. He remembered when Wilbur first got his guitar. God, he had been awful, but when Phil heard him play his first song, he couldn’t stop the tears. And Tommy, he could remember teaching Tommy how to fly like it was yesterday. The soft down finally giving way to sturdy flight feathers. His wings still hadn’t been strong enough to lift him, but he could glide like there was no tomorrow. 

Philza smiled at these memories, the soft breeze gently tugging at his hat as he sat on the ground, damp earth soaking through his trousers. He shifted to his knees, reaching out a hand to touch the cool stone in front of him.

“Hey, Wilbur. I know it’s been a while since we’ve last talked, and I’m sorry. Techno and I got caught up in something, and we were stranded I. The tundra for a good week or so.” Phil chuckled. “We finally got those materials we needed, so that’s good at least.” Phil sighed, the last remnants of his happiness slipping away, leaving the grief that was a constant in his brain now.

“I’m still sorry, Willbur. I-“ the words caught in his throat, eyes stinging with tears. “I never wanted to kill my own son. God, I never even had nightmares of that happening. I’m so sorry that I didn’t do anything sooner. I-I should have seen the signs, I should have reached out.  _Helped you_. ” The tears are falling freely now, rolling off his cheeks onto the ground, where the soul absorbed them. Shaky sobs caused his shoulders to tremble.

“God, I lost you. I lost you Wilbur.” Phil reached out a shaky hand, and placed it on the gravestone on his other side, the marble hard and cold. The sobs were uncontrollable now, tears falling rapidly, chest heaving.

“And now I lost another one of my boys. Goddamit Tommy, you were so young. You had so much in front of you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you as much as I should have been, I’m sorry I wasn’t the best father.” Phil took a shaky breath in, tears still falling. No father should ever have to go through losing a child, let alone two.

“I am so sorry, Tommy. I’m sorry, boys.” His grip on the gravestones tightened. A shaky breath. A choked sob.

“I just want my sons back.”


End file.
